


Things to Say at a Board Meeting and In The Bedroom (And Other Quirky Phrases) by A.Z Fell and A.J Crowley

by brokencasbutt67



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Bottom Aziraphale (Good Omens), Car Sex, Cuddling & Snuggling, Deepthroating, Dining at the Ritz (Good Omens), Established Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Established Relationship, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Grinding, Hair-pulling, Holding Hands, Insecure Aziraphale (Good Omens), Kinda, M/M, Making Out, Making Out in the Bentley (Good Omens), Mirror Sex, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Post-Apocalypse, Rimming, Sex in the Bentley (Good Omens), Sharing a Bed, St James's Park (Good Omens), Stripping, Teasing, Top Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:27:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22683202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokencasbutt67/pseuds/brokencasbutt67
Summary: So it's just porn feat. quotes from the above
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 66





	1. Can I Get a Wahoo?

Post Armaggedon, Crowley and Aziraphale are finally free from the dictatorship-like grip from their previous bosses in Heaven and Hell respectively. The freedom is something they’ve never felt before, and for the first few weeks at least, they’re not sure what to do, though this feeling lingers for a lot longer. They spent so many years hiding from Heaven and Hell, that they’re not sure what to do. The first day, they went to the Ritz, went to St James’ Park and walked around London’s busy streets together. They didn’t have to hide. Aziraphale has never felt so relieved. He  _ loves _ to spend time with Crowley, but until the past few days, Aizraphale has always been looking over his shoulder to make sure that they wouldn’t get caught. 

It was almost a week before their relationship made any progression. They’ve always been in a weird limbo between friends and lovers. Now though, they’re closer to the lover’s end of the spectrum. Aziraphale is seated beside Crowley, around a table at the Ritz. The waiter has just refilled their champagne glasses, their desserts will be arriving shortly. 

Conversation has been sparse as of recent, though there is no need for it, they’re allowed to just enjoy each other’s companionship. Crowley is resting his hand on the table, drumming his fingers to a rhythm. Aziraphale looks around for a moment, a force of habit, before reaching up to take ahold of Crowley’s hand. Their fingers are intertwined, and Aziraphale can’t help but smile as Crowley squeezes Aziraphale’s hand. Aziraphale doesn’t date look to Crowley, out of fear that it’s a joke or that the entire world around him will dissolve into a bad dream. The waiter comes over, placing their desserts in front of them, though their hands don’t part as they begin to eat their food. 

Once they’d eaten and paid for their meals, they began their usual walk around St James’ park, still holding hands. Taking a seat together on the bench, Crowley’s arm falls onto the back of the bench, and Aziraphale curls into Crowley’s half-embrace. The ice cream vendor who serves them regularly sees them, he smiles at the way the pair are now embraced. 

Eventually, the sun begins to set. They’re making their way back to the angel’s bookshop, where Crowley has begun to leave the Bentley before they make their way to the Ritz.   
“My dear, it appears to be rather late, and I suspect there may be a storm here shortly. Oh, well, dear, what I’m trying to say is, would you like to stay the night?” Aziraphale asks, noting that the wind is beginning to speed up.    
“That would be nice” Crowley responds, opening the door for Aziraphale. They walked into the bookshop, the door locking automatically behind them. Aziraphale removed his coat, hanging it beside the black hat that had taken home on his coat stand. Aziraphale can still remember the day he found it. He was on the bus, after one of his secret meetings with Crowley, when the gentlemen seated close to him stood up, leaving the bus and leaving the hat behind. Aziraphale tried to catch up to the gentleman and return the hat, but he couldn’t catch up in time, and so, the hat had taken a place on the coat stand. 

Walking up the stairs, Aziraphale was very much aware of Crowley’s presence, so close behind him. He could feel the demon’s unnecessary breathing on his neck.    
“W-what would you like to drink? I have wine, tea, coffee and possibly some fruit juice from this morning’s breakfast” Aziraphale said, though he didn’t move to go and find the drinks. He stayed stock still, relishing in the feeling of the demon pressed so close to him. Crowley doesn’t say anything. Instead, he gently turns Aziraphale around so they’re face to face. They’re close, their noses are inches apart. Crowley looks down slightly, the height difference is much more profound at this angle. Aziraphale looks up to Crowley, his eager blue eyes are like those of a child at Christmas, with a barely restrained excitement held in them. A cold hand winds onto Aziraphale’s cheek, the thumb brushing over warm skin for a moment as Crowley presses closer. Aziraphale bites his lip, for a mere moment, before standing on his tiptoes and gently kissing Crowley. Crowley melts into the kiss, his hands sliding to Aziraphale’s hips. 

They back through the flat, making their way somewhere, though they don’t know where. The lack of needing to breathe is only a bonus, the kiss is eternal. Eventually, they fall onto the dusty sofa that doesn’t fit the decor of the flat above the bookshop, Aziraphale doesn’t even remember buying it, it just appeared one day. If Aziraphale didn’t know better, he would suspect that Crowley used another frivolous miracle to make it appear, though, given his track record, Crowley may well have moved it into the position it is now. Aziraphale doesn’t care though, and neither does Crowley. The weight of Aziraphale in the demon’s lap is enough for Crowley right now. His mind is too preoccupied with that to care about the sofa he’s seated on. 

His hands slide to Aziraphale’s thighs, gripping at them through the beige trousers that feel softer than Crowley had ever imagined. He could stay here forever, the angel is a comfortable weight in his lap, and he sure has no complaints about what they’re doing. 

Eventually, they come apart, though they’re not sure who is the one to separate the kiss. It could be Crowley, it could be Aziraphale, it doesn’t matter, they don’t care. They have forever to kiss each other. Stopping for a few minutes now makes no difference.    
“Can I get a wahoo? Heh,” Crowley jokes, trying to break an awkwardness that isn’t there. Aziraphale smiles and gently kisses Crowley again.    
“Wahoo” He smiles. Crowley grins, before gently kissing Aziraphale again, and again, and again. Before long, they’re making out on the sofa again, with Crowley kneeling above Aziraphale. 


	2. Oh Good Lord

Aziraphale will never forget this day. He knows that much. Less than two hours ago, he was holding hands with Crowley for the first time ever, while walking around St James’ Park as they so frequently did. Now though, that’s all changed. In that short time frame, their relationship was jolted forward into something that they never want to come back from, and likely never will come back from. They came back to the bookshop from their walk, and kissed, and kissed, and kissed some more. Aziraphale can’t place how long they were kissing for, and he doesn’t care to count the minutes. Compared to how long they have to kiss some more, those minutes are like seconds, though he will always remember them for being his first kiss. 

Aziraphale is now laid in bed, a book in his lap, the soft trousers that sent Crowley ravenous are hung up, neatly pressed and cleaned again. He is now wearing his equally soft pajamas, the blue stripy ones that he’s had as long as he’s had the bookshop in his possession. Crowley is currently in the bathroom, Aziraphale just heard the flush of the toilet. Aziraphale is very much aware that Crowley has no sleepwear here, it’s entirely plausible that Crowley doesn’t use sleepwear, but Aziraphale can’t be certain. He has offered the demon some sleepwear, though Crowley politely declined. Aziraphale isn’t entirely sure he would be able to cope if Crowley walks out entirely naked. Aziraphale is still having heart palpitations from the kissing alone, he can’t imagine what would happen if he saw Crowley entirely naked now.  _ Can an angel die of a heart attack? Not the time to find out.  _

After a moment, water can be heard running and Aziraphale realizes that Crowley is getting washed. Aziraphale smiles slightly, bringing his attention back to the book in his arms, away from the demon in his bathroom. It doesn’t work for long though, Aziraphale begins thinking about Crowley again very quickly. He’s thinking about the escapades he and Crowley have had over the years, well, centuries now. 

He can remember back in Ancient Greece, where they got drunk and shared secrets that Aziraphale can’t fully remember; Ancient Rome, where they shared oysters and wine; during the war, Aziraphale can remember, as clear as day, the way Crowley hopped down the aisle of the church, saving Aziraphale again; Aziraphale can even remember back when Crowley was tempting Guy Fawkes to sin, and how it had affected Crowley when Guy Fawkes was burnt at the stake. He remembers that particularly well, how Crowley had wandered into the angel’s home at the time, a distant look in his eyes. Crowley grabbed some wine from Aziraphale’s cupboard, falling onto a chair. Three bottles were emptied before Crowley had even said anything, and that was only a “hey angel”. 

It took several hours of coaxing for Aziraphale to be able to realize what had happened. Crowley has never fully come to terms with the loss of Guy, they were good friends, always causing mayhem around the area. The bathroom door opens, and a moment later, Crowley is stood awkwardly in the doorway, dragging Aziraphale from his thoughts. 

“You sure you want me to stay? I can go home if you want me too, angel” Crowley says, awkwardly. One would think that it is he who doesn’t want to stay, but that’s far from the truth. He’s overwhelmed with excitement at the thought of being able to stay here, to spend the night cuddled in Aziraphale’s arms as a storm rages through London and the surrounding areas. But he’s scared - terrified even. The thought that after all of this, Aziraphale could still reject him, it lingers in the back of his mind, taunting him much like Hastur and Ligur would often taunt the demon.    
“Dear, I would be honored to have you stay here, I’d love it” Aziraphale promises, closing his book. He sits it on the table beside the bed, shifting to sit up.    
“If you wish, my dear, I could sleep on the sofa” Aziraphale offers. Crowley appeared to be almost offended by the suggestion.    
“Oh, no. Of course not, angel, I’m just… nervous, first time and all” Crowley admits. Aziraphale smiles slightly.    
“Well, dear, get comfortable and I’ll make sure it is enjoyable for the both of us.” 

Crowley nods and begins to undress, resting his jacket on the chair. Next to come off is his grey t-shirt, and he doesn’t miss Aziraphale’s intake of breath as the fabric is folded, and placed on the seat. Crowley can feel the angel’s eyes on him, and Crowley feels almost self- conscious under Aziraphale’s loving gaze. After a moment, Crowley unbuckles his belt and begins to ease his jeans away, somehow terrified about the thought of turning to face Aziraphale in a few moments time. The curse of wearing skin-tight jeans, Crowley has to hop around for a few moments to rid himself of the jeans, and then he hears it.    
“ **Oh Good Lord** ” The angel’s moan is almost pornographic as the black jeans finally come away. Crowley feels himself flushing a shade of red as he rests his jeans on the chair with his t-shirt and jacket, though he chooses to say nothing. Instead, he turns to face the angel, who looks as though he’s just seen the newest dessert at The Ritz. Aziraphale’s eyes follow Crowley as the demon sits on the edge of the bed, for a moment, and then, he swings his legs around and sits in the bed with Aziraphale. He unclips his watch and sits it on the table beside the bed.   
“Hey angel, you can stop staring you know, I’m not gonna go anywhere. Promise” Crowley turns to Aziraphale taking the angel’s hand in his own as he does. Aziraphale nods, and can’t help himself as he leans over for another kiss. Crowley smiles into the kiss as they lay down, and the lamp beside Aziraphale’s head flicks off. It’s well into the night before they actually fall asleep, spending most of the time making out with each other and sharing the embrace. 


	3. Oh Fffuck

Crowley awoke first. It was a surprise, that Aziraphale who rarely sleeps was still asleep when Crowley awoke close to lunchtime. He rolls over in the bed to face the angel, who is snuggled close to him. Aziraphale snores slightly, making some little grunting noises as he presses closer to Crowley. The demon can’t help but stroke his fingers through Aziraphale’s blonde curls, messing up the angel’s pristine curls. Aziraphale moans at the touch, a pornographic moan that has Crowley hardening in his boxer shorts. 

Aziraphale, the bastard, became aware of what he was doing. He made a show of it, arching his back to press against Crowley. Aziraphale even went as far as to wrap his legs around Crowley, who after a moment, growled out of frustration.    
“You know what you’re doing to me, don’t you?” He asked, purely to himself, though a moment later, the smirk on Aziraphale’s face answered the question for him. Aziraphale winked, shifting to lay back.    
“Just teasing, dear” Aziraphale smirked.    
“Oh, going there, are we?” Crowley grinned while slithering under the duvet. Aziraphale bit his lip, and after a moment, he couldn’t hold back the moan as he felt his sleep pants being eased away. 

Crowley’s hot mouth covered the fabric of his underwear, and Aziraphale bucked into the wet warmth. After a moment or two, Crowley pulled away and poked his head out of the duvet.    
“ _ Just teasing _ ” He smirked.   
“And you say I’m the bastard” Aziraphale responded. Crowley chuckled and shrugged, before gently kissing the angel.    
“You might be a bastard, but you’re my bastard,” Crowley said softly, kissing Aziraphale again. Before long, they were making out again, and Aziraphale couldn’t help but jerk his hips upward when Crowley’s knees slid to the sides of Aziraphale’s thighs, holding the angel in place. Crowley groaned into the kiss, his hips falling into Aziraphale’s. They built a rhythm of grinding against each other for what felt like an eternity. 

Eventually though, Crowley slid under the duvet.    
“Tell me if you want me to stop, angel” Crowley murmured, knowing Aziraphale would hear it all the same.    
“Don’t stop, dear, never stop” Aziraphale moaned, already sounding breathless. Crowley couldn’t hide his smile that he’s done that to the angel. Reaching up, Crowley lifts Aziraphale’s hips and removes the angel’s underwear, doing everything the human way. 

Crowley’s long, snake tongue slid out of his mouth and teased over the angel’s hard length. The moan that Aziraphale let out could be heard from Heaven, Crowley is certain. He doesn’t mind though, he wants those fuckers to know that Aziraphale is much happier, much more free now he’s away from them all. Crowley would shout it from the rooftops if he could, but he knows Gabriel would never face him, that spineless winged bag of dicks has been terrified of Crowley for as long as Crowley has been a demon. 

Without realizing it, Crowley has gotten so lost in his thoughts that he’s swallowed Aziraphale’s length down fully.    
“ **Oh fffuck** ” Aziraphale moans, head falling back into the pillow while his hands wind down to Crowley’s hair, knotting his fingers through the demon’s messy hair. Aziraphale has always wanted to mess up Crowley’s hair, he never thought this would be the situation that led to him being able to play with the demon’s hair. 

Crowley groaned at the touch, the feeling of Aziraphale tugging on his hair in just the right way, and the moan sent vibrations through Aziraphale, who already has heightened senses. Crowley looks up to Aziraphale from beneath the duvet, the angel’s chest is heaving, his head is thrown back and Crowley can tell that already, the angel is close to coming, yet there has been very little interaction.    


Aziraphale whimpers when Crowley stops moving, though he could come now given how close he is, he’s barely holding himself back. Crowley shifts, lifting his head slightly. He hears the angel whimper, a needy sound rarely heard from the angel. A moment later, a downright pornographic moan is pulled from the angel as Crowley drops his head back down. 

Aziraphale jerks his head, while tugging on Crowley’s hair for a moment, his hips jerking as he holds Crowley’s head down.    
“I’m close Crowley, please” He begs, though he isn’t sure what he’s begging for. Crowley grins and pulls away with a pop.    
“Oh, is that so?” He asks, shifting to mouth at Aziraphale’s neck until there’s a small purpling bruise on the porcelain skin. Aziraphale gasps and moans, the pleasure pain is just exquisite.

Before long, he’s gasping and moaning from the way Crowley is nipping and biting along his neck. Crowley grinned, reaching down to stroke the angel to completion. It didn’t take long, two or three tugs, a barely there touch, and Aziraphale was coming, spilling over Crowley’s fist with a shout of the demon’s name. The orgasm sent Aziraphale to a high he’s never been on, it’s like he’s on drugs.

It takes Aziraphale a while to return to Earth. At first, Crowley is slightly concerned, the angel has that dazed look on his face that immediately concerns any angel or demon, but after a moment, the angel’s hips are jerking again, though now from sensitivity, a sure sign for Crowley to pull away. 

He shifts to lay beside Aziraphale, and when the angel finally returns to Earth and sanity, Crowley leans up and kisses him gently.    
“How was that?” He asks softly, trailing his hand over Aziraphale’s chest, briefly catching the angel’s sensitive nipples. Aziraphale lets out a defeated moan, before turning into Crowley’s arms, hugging him tightly.    
“I don’t think I could put into words just how special to me that was” Aziraphale murmured. Crowley smiled, leaning up to kiss Aziraphale’s cheek. 

After a few moments of relishing in each other’s embrace and nothing more, Crowley became acutely aware of the way Aziraphale was looking at him, as though he’s the finest piece of art in the gallery.    
“Angel, you okay?” Crowley asked.    
“Yeah, it’s just...it’s your turn” Aziraphale smirked, and before Crowley could ask what he meant, Aziraphale was sliding under the duvet cover. 


	4. Get Thee Behind Me, Foul Fiend

Within a few weeks of their relationship progressing into lovers, from “hereditary enemies”, if it could even be called  _ that _ , they’d already taken more steps in the relationship than either had done in their entire lives. Aziraphale never thought he’d be able to say he’s comfortable in a relationship, especially not a relationship with a demon. It never appeared in his wildest dreams that he would end up in a sexual relationship with Crowley though, yet here they are, and they would never go back to what they were before what they are now. 

Aziraphale has never felt so comfortable and confident in his own skin, though since Crowley has begun to worship him, Aziraphale has never felt so… comfortable. He no longer wants to wear the three, four or even five layers he would usually wear to hide his body. Crowley loves it, he loves seeing Aziraphale wandering around in as few layers possible. Aziraphale has never felt so free. 

Today is going to be a good day, Crowley knows that much. He was woken to Aziraphale grinding against him, and they started the morning having blowjobs. After that, Aziraphale went to have a shower while Crowley remained in the bed. Aziraphale was meant to be opening the bookshop, though the way he looked at Crowley once he reappeared in the bedroom, with only a tiny hand towel wrapped around his waist, Crowley knew that the bookshop wouldn’t be getting opened today. Aziraphale looked almost feral as he looked over Crowley’s almost naked body that lay above the duvet. 

“Sheesh, angel, someone’s needy today” He joked, though the way the angel tossed the towel aside and climbed onto the bed had Crowley shifting slightly, wanting nothing more than to pound the angel into oblivion. Crowley raked his eyes over the angel’s body. Aziraphale smirked and shifted to sit atop Crowley’s hips. Crowley smirked up to Aziraphale, who was freely rolling his hips against the demon’s bulged black boxer shorts.    
“Having fun up there?” Crowley asked, looking up to Aziraphale.    
“Yeah, it’s great, though I’d much prefer it if you would actually be inside of me” Aziraphale shrugged, completely unaware of the effects of his words on Crowley.    
“Gimme a minute then, I’ll gladly fuck you but I can’t fuck you in my underwear” Crowley responded. Aziraphale flushed bright red and moved to lay on the bed. Crowley rolled off of the bed, easing his boxer shorts away. He tosses them aside and strokes himself slightly, jerking at the sensitivity.

Aziraphale shifts to stand, kissing Crowley as they move to face the mirror while still making out.    
“ **Get thee behind me** , **foul fiend** Crowley, and fuck me” Aziraphale murmured, Crowley groaned at the words and dropped his head onto Aziraphale’s neck. Those words were spoken not too long ago when their entire situation was reversed.    
“You ready? Can’t take time to prep you, not now” Crowley groaned. Aziraphale nodded and snapped his fingers, and he was prepped for Crowley, who moved to stand behind him and gripped at Aziraphale’s thighs as he parted them. Aziraphale looked over himself, and the way Crowley’s hand is working behind him. 

After a moment, Aziraphale can feel Crowley breaching his rim and it has both of them moaning, barely able to hold back.    
“Oh, fuck” Aziraphale moaned, his hips jerking slightly as Crowley filled him. Aziraphale’s head fell back onto Crowley’s shoulder, and he wanted to close his eyes, the pleasure was overwhelming, but he couldn’t take his eyes from the sight of himself and Crowley, the way their bodies moved together, like a crow chasing a butterfly. Aziraphale was enraptured at the sight, and he couldn’t help but grip onto Crowley’s body, arms, legs, anywhere to ground himself. He couldn’t help but watch the way he and Crowley moved together.

“Angel, please, I’m close” Crowley begged, Aziraphale nodded in response.    
“Me too” He breathes his response, he can’t do much more. Crowley speeds up the rolling of his hips, moving his hand down Aziraphale’s front. He takes the angel’s hardened length into his fist, and Aziraphale’s knees weaken at the touch. Crowley speeds his hand movements, and within moments, Aziraphale comes with a wail, spilling over Crowley’s fist. Crowley groans and pounds into him, once or twice more and then Crowley is coming, biting down onto Aziraphale’s neck. They almost fell to the floor, though a miracle from one of them makes them fall onto the bed instead of the floor. Aziraphale is gasping for air like he was drowning only moments ago. Crowley eases out of Aziraphale, and gently kisses his neck.   
“I’ll go grab a cloth, angel” Crowley murmured. Aziraphale nodded, though he didn’t have the energy to roll over.

A few moments later, Crowley returned with a damp cloth. He nudged at Aziraphale just enough that the angel rolled over. He cleaned up the come that was dripping onto the angel’s thighs. Aziraphale yawned slightly.   
“Come back to bed, dear,” He asks, though he doesn’t have the energy to lift his head as he speaks. Crowley smiled and tossed the cloth back towards the bathroom before clambering back onto the bed. He shifts to lift the angel back under the duvet, before sliding himself under.    
“Take some sleep angel” Crowley smiled. Aziraphale nodded and his eyes drifted closed as he fell asleep, wrapping himself around Crowley’s body. 

“Sweet dreams, my dear angel” Crowley murmured, while projecting dreams into Aziraphale’s head that he knew the angel would be pleasantly surprised by. 

It was the middle of the afternoon when Aziraphale finally awoke. He turned to face Crowley’s chest, relishing in the warmth that the reptile let out. It was always a surprise to Aziraphale that Crowley is so warm. He never complains though.   
“Crowley” Aziraphale mumbled.    
“I’m here angel” Crowley promised, reaching up to cup Aziraphale’s cheek. Aziraphale leaned into the touch.    
“I love you” Crowley murmured, stroking his thumb over Aziraphale’s cheek. Aziraphale blushed slightly and smiled.    
“And I you, my dear” Aziraphale murmured, leaning up to gently kiss Crowley. 


End file.
